Start by giving yourself…

1 point for every time you've read The Hobbit
2 points for every time you've read LotR
5 points if you've read all the appendixes to LotR
3 points for every time you've read The Silmarillion
5 points for each other work by Tolkien you've read

Add one point for each time per week you usually visit the TORN forum
If you have a LotR poster hanging in your bedroom, add 1 point
If you have your own Tolkien website, add 3
If you've ever named a pet after a Tolkien character, add 1
If you've ever named a child after a Tolkien character (sorry, nicknames don't count!), add 5
If you've legally changed your own name to that of a Tolkien character, add 10
If your ideal mate is someone just like Aragorn/Galadriel, add 1
If you wish Gandalf was your grandfather, add 1
If the god you worship is some guy named Iluvatar, add 10
If you plan to camp out for tickets when the LotR movies come out, add 5
If you can quote large sections of LotR verbatim, add 1
If you know the real names of any of the Nazgul, add 1
If you've ever made up your own recipe for Lembas or miruvoir, add 1
If you've ever dressed up as a Tolkien character for a party, add 1
If you've ever dressed up as a Tolkien character for the fun of it, add 3
If you're proud of your hairy feet, add 1
If you're proud of your hairy back, subtract 3
If you've ever played a hobbit or ranger character in a role-playing game, add 1
If your idea of a hot-button political topic is the "balrog wings" issue, add 5
If you've ever decorated a subway, wall, freeway overpass, desktop, etc., with the graffiti, "Frodo lives," add 3
If you know what the Eagle and Child is, add 3
I've you've ever actually used the word "dwimmerlaik" in a conversation, add 5
If you've seen the Bakshi LotR movie, add 1
If you've seen and still like the Bakshi LotR movie, subtract 5

Score:

1-10: Hey, wrong forum, dude. The Lord of the Rings is not Stone Cold Steve Austin.
11- 30: A young hobbit, never been outside the Shire
31-40: You've been as far as Bree
41 - 60: You've been "there and back again" a few times
61-80: A Wood Elf
81-100: A High Elf
100 - 120: You are the lost Istari
121 or more: Pure Valar all the way, baby. Now get a life.