MOON LETTERS : CREATIVE WRITING
The Mirkwood Prank Files, Part II - Tenshiamanda
Disclaimer: this week brought to you by "Glorfindel's Horse Alarms, making sure elvish maidens *cough* Arwen *cough* don't steal Asfaloth, I mean your horse."
This world isn't perfect. BECAUSE I DON'T OWN LOTR!
Surprisingly they were not punished for the chillis. They brought it down to the lack of evidence, or in their words:
" I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it you can't prove anything!"
So now they were sat in the top of a tree eating honey cakes. They watched other elves go about their business below but their minds were occupied elsewhere.
" So do you two do a lot of this at home?" Legolas asked before shoving a cake in his mouth.
" Yeah all the time." Elladan answered.
"You got any ideas then?" Legolas gave them his best ' I have no more ideas' look.
"How about ants?" Elrohir said.
"You know that won't work on our dad, he checks his trousers every morning since we did that." Elladan scowled.
Legolas said thoughtfully "Ants in their pants, thanks for the tip."
"Your welcome." Elrohir smirked.
"We should make this a club!" Elladan giggled.
"What club?" they both asked puzzled.
"The Pranksters Club!"
"Now we have to swear we will always be up to no good. Repeat after me. I swear by
"Is that a good idea?"
"Yes now say it!" They both said it. " I will pull pranks and be up to no good." He waited for them to say it. " If I break this promise I'll die 'till I'm dead!"
"So what do we do now?" Elrohir was fairly bouncing on his butt.
" We need a plan." Elladan snorted.
"Well I never would have guessed!" Elrohir sneered.
"Shut up brother!"
"NO I won't. You be quiet!"
"I'm the oldest so you do what I say!"
"Like hell I will!"
"Shut up both of you! For I have a plan." Legolas said.
"What's that?" they asked curiously.
"Well it involves
" They whispered together in a huddle for quite a while.
As both Elrond and Thranduil slept three figures crept into their rooms. Nearing the beds they began their work.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" the screams echoed around the forest.
Birds took flight and even the spiders huddled together. The king and Elrond were rather loud.
Elrond stared into the mirror. Hoping it was a dream. A hand drifted up to touch his hair. His bright pink hair!
Thranduil was having similar problems with his hair. His bright blue hair!
Neither of them left their rooms that day but a few servants who saw the hair spread the word and there was no end to the many eyes seeking a glimpse of them. The two had ordered their children to be brought in and they along with the rest of the kingdom howled with laughter.
"This is your fault you little brat!" Thranduil told his beaming son. "I am going to teach you such a lesson! You will wash the pots along with those two little friends of yours for the next week!"
At that Legolas' smile faulted but a minute later he was giggling again as he was escorted to his rooms by a servant who was also in hysterics.
Songs would be sung about this for many an Age.
Thranduil: do you know how many times I had to wash my hair to get the stuff out?
Me: no but I now know your darkest secret.
Elrond: they still sing songs about that. It's humiliating.
Legolas: oh memories. Sweet memories.
Elladan: did you know our club now includes Aragorn and Arwen?
Elrohir: yeah, we helped her steal Asfaloth.
Me: and that's why you should always put an alarm on your horse.
Disclaimer: This week brought to you by "Sauron's Eye Drops!"
I (meaning me) do not (don't) own (have any part of) LotR. (Legolas)
Glorfindel hummed to himself as he walked down the corridor. Occasionally chuckling with thoughts of his pink haired lord. Upon arrival in Mirkwood he had had time to wander around and was enjoying himself. Elrond seemed to be very stressed out though.
"Glorfindel!" It was Elrohir's voice. "Elladan fell over!"
Glorfindel shook his head as he hurried over to the twins. These two needed to be more careful. He entered through the door Elrohir had disappeared through. He saw the twins standing there. Elladan appeared to be fine. Both twins were smirking at him.
"Oh no!" Glorfindel cursed his stupidity and tried to run for it but as he reached the door.
"Present!" Legolas yelled.
Glorfindel found himself covered in a sticky substance. Whirling around he saw the twins grabbing pillows. They ripped them open and charged towards him. Feathers were thrown all over.
"Glorfindel's a chicken, a chicken!" the children yelled.
He should have known better after years of looking after the twins. He was covered in feathers. He sighed watching the three run away. Now, how did he get back to his room with nobody seeing him?
Haldir grinned as he walked through the garden. The sight of Glorfindel covered in feathers had been too much to bear. He burst out laughing again remembering that image. He was hear to deliver a message from Galadriel to Thranduil, having done it he was now relaxing before heading home.
If he hadn't been laughing so much he might have heard the laughter of three children.
Haldir noticed an apple on the ground. It looked unspoiled so he bent down to pick it up. Suddenly he was knocked to the ground. He yelped in surprise and found himself staring into the face of Legolas.
" Prince Legolas what's going on?" he enquired.
Legolas laughed, "This!"
Haldir cried out as the twins appeared and poured rotten vegetables, fruit and other things from the rubbish bin on him. He growled and got up intending to tell them off but was pelted with tomatos as the children ran for it. He slipped on a piece of rotten lettuce as he attempted to get up. Sighing he got up. They could at least have left him the apple he mused sadly.
Me: *giggle* now I know why Haldir didn't look pleased to see you Legolas!
Legolas: he's just can't take a joke.
Thranduil: none of your pranks are jokes!
Elrond: more like World War Three.
Elladan: we are so gifted.
Elrohir: you adults have no sense of humour.
Me: oh well see ya next time!
Sorry for taking so long! NOW REVIEW OR I SEND OUT THE PURPLE MONKEYS! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! If you have any ideas tell me!
Disclaimer: this week brought to you by "Gandalf's History Courses, Perfect For Those Who Suffer From Insomnia"
I don't own it. THE PURPLE MONKEYS DO!
" Owwwww!" Elladan howled. " How do girls do this stuff? "
"Dunno but their fingers must be made out of mithril or something." Elrohir said.
You see the twins were attempting to sew, leaves that is, into a bag.
"Legolas why don't you sew some bags?" Elladan snarled.
"Because I'm royalty that's why. And someone has to make these threads." Legolas answered.
"The spiders made them your just spinning them into rope." Elrohir said before yelping as he stabbed his finger again.
"OW! That's it I've had enough! Legolas you're making some of these bags! Elladan dived at Legolas closely followed by Elrohir. The fight was quick as Legolas was outnumbered.
*Half an hour later*
"Done!" Legolas cried triumphantly. "Now for the second stage."
"Well what a lovely selection we have." Elrohir giggled, "Soup, honey and various other substances are here at your disposal!" he bowed dramatically.
The three strutted up and down in front of the bowls trying to look very dignified as they filled the leaf bags up. They tied the bags with the spider thread and stuffed them into leather pouches.
"Where should we go first?" Elladan snickered.
"The gardens!" Elrohir yelled.
They hurried to the gardens and tied some thread round a tree. They stretched it across the path and then up into the tree. Fixing a leaf bag to the end they hung it over the middle of the path by an overhead tree branch.
"Now we wait." Legolas giggled.
They hid in the bushes to the side of the path. Before long a maiden appeared walking towards them. She came closer and closer. Then she walked the nearly invisible spider thread, snapping it! Down came the leaf bag and splat! She had tomato soup in her hair and dripping down her dress.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" she screamed before running away crying.
"Hahahahahahahahahahahah!" the trees exploded with laughter.
did you see her face?" Elladan was choking on his laughter.
Legolas said, "Of course I did you stupid
"Come on we've still got a load left." Elrohir shouted.
Many elves went home that evening covered in various gooey substances. Including Thranduil, Elrond, Haldir and Glorfindel. But they had a meeting later that night
Thranduil: I. Am. Going. To. Throttle. You.
Me: oh no you don't you meanie.
Elrond: is that even a word?
Me: yes because I said so.
Elrond: no it isn't.
Me; yes it is if you don't want me to write the fic with you wearing a tutu.
Elladan: haha! Dad in a tutu.
Elrohir: people would pay money to see that. Hey! That gives me an idea.
Me: money! I'll send out purple monkeys to spread the word!
Disclaimer: brought to you by "Galadriel's Fortune Telling, Guaranteed To Show Something Useful."
Purple monkey: ooohh ohhhh eeee aaaa ohhhhhhh!
Translation: The author claims no ownership of LotR so there. Nah nah nah na na!
Glorfindel and Haldir found themselves summoned to the Kings chambers later that night. Glancing nervously at each other the knocked on the door.
"Enter." Came Thranduil's voice.
The two walked in and sat down in the chairs with lord Elrond who was also present. They had to try not to laugh, as there was still some pink in his hair.
"Glorfindel there's a feather in your hair." He said scowling at their poorly concealed merriment. Glorfindel blushed and removed the feather.
" I have summoned you here for a purpose, tomorrow Elrond and his children are leaving along with you Glorfindel. Over the past few days we have all suffered at the hands of those
" Thranduil said.
"Demons!" Elrond offered.
"Hooligans." Glorfindel said.
"Brats." Haldir put in.
"Exactly. So we have to teach them a lesson, give them some of their own medicine!" Thranduil hit the table with his fist.
"So we need a plan. Any ideas?" Thranduil asked.
All four elves thought hard, and harder. It had been a long time since they were children. A very long time.
"I've got it!" Haldir yelled.
"Shhhhhhhh." The other four said. Before huddling together to hear the plan.
"Well what we do is
Meanwhile three elvish children slept quietly in their beds, dreaming of food, pranks and other things. They had no idea what was about to happen.
Elrond: now this is where it gets good.
Legolas: for you.
Me: this doesn't sound good.
Elladan: it isn't. dammit!
Elrohir: adults are so mean!
Elrond: what! After what you lot have done!
Me: okay, well don't forget to tune in next time.
Sorry for taking so long but I had writers block. Its eeeeeeeevil!
Disclaimer: this week brought to you by "Sam's Garden Centre, Mallorn Tree's Only £500,0000000000000000000."
I don't own it but I will one day, it will be mine, oh yes! It will be mine.
Legolas yawned as he sat down to breakfast with the twins. Children didn't eat breakfast with the adults. The twins were fighting over an apple while he ate porridge, yucky porridge.
what're we going to do today?" Legolas asked.
"Its my apple! I don't know Legolas." Elladan said and pulled the apple away from Elrohir with a triumphant cry.
Legolas giggled at the sight before drinking his tea. He made a face, the tea tasted a bit
"Guys I think there's something wrong with this tea." Legolas he said.
is that why you look constipated?" said Elrohir.
its because there's a mouse dancing in my porridge!" Legolas answered sarcastically.
"Alright, alright keep your hair on! We'll see if ours tastes funny too." Elladan snickered and then the twins downed their tea as well.
"Yuck!" Elrohir pulled a face.
"You were right Legolas this tea tastes like someone put dirt in it." Elladan said before turning white. "Le
um think you should look in the mirror."
"Why I washed this morning and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Legolas cried as he looked in the mirror. His teeth were pitch black. He turned to look at his friends and cried out again.
The twins rushed to the mirror too only to find their teeth were black as well!
"It looks like we have no teeth!" Elrohir was panicking!
"There must have been something in the tea!" Elladan cried.
And so it was that throughout the rest of the day none of the children would show their teeth to anyone.
"Oh my goodness! Where did you learn that Haldir?" Glorfindel asked.
"Putting ink in their tea, it was brilliant." Elrond smiled.
"Oh well, it's just something my brothers taught me." Haldir smirked.
"Well we've only got a few hours left before Elrond and his children leave so lets set up the last part of the plan!" Thranduil grinned.
"Who do you think did it?" Elrohir mumbled as they walked through the gardens.
"Dunno. But they had access to our breakfast." Legolas said from behind his hand.
"Well we're going home today so there's no time to find out who it was and get revenge." Elladan mused.
They carried on walking when they spotted some parchment with writing on it ahead of them.
"What's that?" Elrohir asked curiously.
"Lets have a look!" Elladan said and went to grab it but it blew out of his reach. The three raced after it. Of course if they had paid attention they would have noticed that there was no wind to blow the parchment.
Gradually they got further from the path and were able to grab the parchment.
"It reads, 'Got you!' What does that mean?" Legolas asked.
The three looked at each other.
"It means my son, that we have got you!" Thranduil smiled and threw a pie right in Legolas' face.
The twins realized the parchment was tied to some spider silk and had been used to lead them to this place.
"Oh no!" Elladan cried as Elrond threw a pie at him.
Glorfindel and Haldir appeared and threw pies as well. The children yelped and huddled together as they were covered in cream, sauce and piecrust. Eventually it stopped and the children listened to the adults' laughter.
"I hope that taught you a lesson!" Glorfindel hollered.
"Hahahahahahahaha! I bet it did!" Haldir giggled.
"Alright, alright. I think we better take them back to get cleaned up. They can't go home looking like that." Elrond smiled.
"Yes its very unbefitting for a prince to look that way." Thranduil smiled and picked up a pouting Legolas. "You look just like your mother when you do that."
Elrond took the twins by the hand and the elves walked back to the palace together.
*2 hours later*
"Bye don't forget to write!" Legolas waved.
"We won't! See you later Legolas!" the twins waved and disappeared round the bend with their father and Glorfindel.
"Dad." Legolas said.
"Can they come to stay next week?"
Legolas: that was humiliating.
Me: poor babies! C'mon I'll give you a hug!
Thranduil: That was funny!
Elrond: Yes, it's just too bad the only lesson they learned was how to pull more pranks.
Elrohir: your just grumpy.
Elladan: I think my eyes have gone square from watching the telly.
Legolas: oh yeah. I see.
Me: well don't worry folks! Their pranks didn't end there. Look out for more tales concerning our favourite three. Coming soon to a fanfic near you!