MOON LETTERS : TOOKISH TICKLERS
Agent Elrond in the Matrix of Rivendell - Duranwen
Agent Elrond: As you can see, Sauron's had his eye on you for some time now, Mr. Baggins. But it seems that you have been living two lives. In one life, you are Frodo, son of Drogo, Baggins; respectable hobbit living in the shire. You pay your gardener and you help your uncle Bilbo carry out his garbage. The other life is lived outside the Shire where you go by the alias "Underhill" and are guilty of possession of stolen jewelry and of public indecency with three hobbits, two men, a wizard, and elf, a dwarf, and a pony. Also of the unauthorized use of the One Ring for the act of disappearing. One of these lives has a future. The other does not. I'm going to be as forthcoming as I can be, Mr. Baggins. We know that you have been contacted by a certain individual. A dark lord who calls himself "Sauron." Whatever you think you know about this man is irrelevant to the fact that he is wanted for acts of terrorism in more lands than any other evil being in middle earth. He is considered by most creatures to be the most dangerous being alive...I mean dead...undead. Anyway, my fellow councilmen believe that I am wasting my time with you, but I believe you want to do the right thing. It is obvious that you are an intelligent hobbit, Mr. Baggins, and that you are interested in the future of Middle Earth. That is why I believe you are ready to put your past mistakes behind you and get on with your mission
thing. We are willing to wipe the slate clean, to give you eight companions of questionable sexuality, and all we are asking in return is your cooperation in destroying a known dark lord.
Frodo: Yeah. Wow. That sounds like a really good deal. But I think I have a better one. How about I give you the finger
and you give me my ring back.