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You Know You've Seen LotR: FotR Too Many Times When - Beccanoodle

You walk up to the ticket counter, the woman behind the desk looks up and simply says, "The usual?"
The guys at the snack counter have named a combo meal after you.
You've figured out, down to the ounce, how much soda you can consume over a three hour period without having to take a potty break.
You're really annoyed that the spell checker on your word processor flags "prrrrreecciiooussss" as wrong.
You've ever lied about the number of times you've seen FOTR. (classic addiction denial...)
You've even been stuck in slow moving traffic, leaned out the window, and shouted "Fly, you fools!"
You've already started on your costume for Opening Night of TTT.
You know what the initials TTT stand for.
You've managed to convince yourself that popcorn has the same nutritional value as lembas.
You've taken to wearing your wedding ring on a chain around your neck. (And you scowl and draw back from anyone who tries to look at it.)
You are having lunch with a co-worker in the park, and you grab him/her and hurl the both of you into the ornamental shrubs, because you saw a flock of blackbirds approaching.
You have developed a sudden *need* to take archery lessons.
You start looking in the phone book for places you can have prosthetic feet and ears made.
You're riding on the chair-lift when it gets stopped by high winds and blinding snow, when you turn to your companions and shout "We must get off the mountain!"
You bend over to pick up a stick to throw to your dog, imagine it is an arrow and cry "Orcs!"
You start growing lots of shrubs and greens around your house and start talking to the trees.
You actually renamed your pet "Baggins".
While folding laundry you are seized with the urge to throw a sheet over your head and hiss, "Shhhhire......Bagginsssss...." - and then wonder why the other people in the laundry just look at you blankly.
You dream yourself into Middle Earth and get confronted with an incredible amount pf curses out of your own mouth after your sleep was disturbed by whatever.
You start to recite whole dialogues from LOTR word by word when one of your friends asks you "Do you remember when Gandalf..."
Whenever you're having a problem you wish Gandalf was around to advise you. It doesn't matter when you take a potty break anymore as you just mutter the dialog to yourself and reenact the battle scenes on the way to and from the restroom.
You start self-censoring your LOTR comments to family and co-workers so they won't think you're a total fanatic. They wonder why you stopped talking altogether.
You are at the video store and see "Godzilla" and think... it's the Eye of Sauron!
You absolutely love Christmas but this year it was just one big interruptionin your whole Lord of the Rings viewing schedule.
When your bus is twenty minutes late, you start talking to moths just in case you can bum a ride.
You put a sign on your sister's door saying "There is evil here that does not sleep".
You have a very complicated journey to make, but it doesn't even occur to you to bring a map.
You have started practicing the "Legolas arrow stab maneuver" with knitting needles.
When one of your teachers tells you to pick your groups for a project, so you pick up your stuff and go to a group that's forming, saying, "You need people of intelligence on this project...assignment....thing."
You consider asking out that really tall guy in your math class, just because standing next to him makes you feel like a hobbit! (Or is that just me?)
You start looking at your friends' ears to see whose are the most pointy (well, those few friends left, anyway...)
You reach into your pocket in line at the cafeteria to pay for your lunch, and only manage to come up with a handful of ticket stubs.
You've changed the password on your computer to "mellon".
When dragged to some *other* movie by well-meaning friends, you insist on stopping near the FOTR theater so that you can tell what scene they're in by the music leaking out. If the *other* movie happens to be right next door to FOTR, you keep your friends informed with little tidbits like "They're in Moria now" and "Hear that? That's the Lothlorien music."
When you get to the theater for your weekly viewing, you greet all the other regulars by their elvish names.
When your curse becomes subtle sounding now... "You Gollum" --- "Balrog You"!!!
When you find your name is in the reserved parking area at the theater.
The staff has blazoned your name on the back of your seat.
You receive personal screen ads from the other regulars, before the movie begins.
You receive comp rooms at the hotel next to the theater in the name of Festival cinemas.
Friends and relatives begin to drive you crazy with requests to recite the whole movie backwards, and the saddest part is... you can actually do it !!
There are cobwebs on your favorite chair at home.
You know that if you had a pet parrot, it also would be able to do #42.
You have a pet parrot who annoyingly asks you if you could teach it something else !!
You know how to make all the green lights on the way to the theater.
At the grocery store, people you have never met are heard whispering: "Look, it's that Ring lady".
Your family now owns stock in a fast food franchise as you haven't been home to cook since 12/19/01.
You now own stock in ju ju bees and snowcaps.
You use the term "soft palate" whenever you give your blow-by-blow description of the battle of Balin's tomb.
You have a favorite orc, and argue with your friends as to whether "Hissy" or "Pink-eye" is cooler.
People tell you to shut up as you sing along with Gandalf and Bilbo (The Road goes ever on and on...)
While sitting at your lunch table you suddenly realize that your friend is an absolute elf look alike. Blonde hair, tall and pointy ears!
While sitting in social studies, you suddenly notice that the name "Elijah" somebody-or- other is on your drill! ELIJAH?? His birthday is January 28........*starts droning on and on*
Your Monday morning routine is calling every theatre within a 20 mile radius of where you work or live and plan out the week. [One visit per theatre so they don't catch on !]
You get the references to all these jokes and have said out loud "That is SO me" to at least five of them.
You're actually peeved at this thread because the idea of seeing FOTR "to many times" is an oxymoron.
You're about to show the great poem you wrote to your sweetie, but then realize that he won't understand it because he doesn't know anything about the history of Beleriand.
You call Valentine's day "Aragorn/Arwen day".
You call out "Oh Viggo!" at a rather inappropriate time. (Or "Oh Sean!". But not "Oh Elijah!" because that's just weird.)
You've gone out to a restaurant and, when the waiter comes to take your order, you've actually asked for either:
- a. Tomatoes, sausage, nice crispy bacon
- b. Malt beer and red meat off the bone
- c. Fiiisssshhhhheeeessssss.
People taking their daily walk call to you when you pass them on the way to the movie theatre and call you by your elvish name.
Anything anybody says causes you to look up from what your doing and start reciting the scene that starts like that.
People have stopped reading the English lines when somebody says something in elvish 'cause they know you'll say it out loud anyway.
You ask your friends for a ride and they don't even have to ask where you're going.
A local cab company parks a daily cab in front of your house for which they just flat rate you once a week.
The theater comps you at the snack bar.
The theater just sends your tickets in the mail now.
The theater manager has put you on payroll.
Ladies, you catch yourself saying out loud to your partner at the wrong time: "Strange that we should have such fear and doubt over so small a thing, Such a little thing".
You find yourself thinking your teacher is a hobbit and are convinced when they mention they like mushrooms.
You listen to the soundtrack constantly.
When your younger brother tries getting into your room you shout "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"
When you and other LOTR fans get together, everyone else turns and stares because all you do is re-act the movie and speak in Elvish.
When asked what your greatest fear is, you reply, "Sauron getting the ring and enslaving the world".
When you get angry at someone, you recite the one ring poem in the black language.
Find yourself referring to the movie in daily conversation. For example, "Yeah I understand, just like when Pippin accidentally woke the Balrog..."
You lose a sock in the washing machine and sadly announce "It has fallen into shadow".
You grab junk from the garage and attic and head for the nearest queue (bank, cinema, etc.) and start handing out gifts Galadriel style.
You grab every gold ring you see and smash it with your trusty axe (your new accessory), saving you the trip to Mt. Doom.
You install a second peep hole and doorbell 3 feet up from the bottom of your front door in case any hobbits stop by.
You haven't taken a shower since the movie opened back in Dec. now that it has become the latest LOTR trend.
You've ripped up all the plants from your garden and planted only kingsfoil, for medicinal purposes.
Someone tries to cut you in the lift line (ski lift...yes I live in a ski town...sigh), you throw down your poles in the snow and shout "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"
You have recently been overcome with an obsession to find a LotR nickname -- there are people actually named Eowyn, Meri and Lorien out there! Totally unfair!
You have a major, major crush on one of the characters - the character, not the actor. (no, I do not have a crush on Sam. Seriously!)
You actually cry when FotR goes out of theatres.
You insist that you CANNOT have a gold ring - the risk is just too great!
You go on a very long trip, walking, without any food, water, or other form of survival tools (this includes rope!) just for the heck of it.
You know each actor (including very minor characters), director, producer, etc.'s name, age and where he/she lives by heart.
You can hear someone talking about LotR or you can see the cover of one of the books from an amazing distance away.
You ask someone who is in the process of reading the books what page they are on in
Fellowship of the Ring, and you know exactly what is happening just by the page number, or at least what chapter it is in.
Your good friend who has never read any of the books or seen the movie points to the picture of Saruman on the cover of The Two Towers and asks, "Is that Sam?" You burst into tears.
Someone who has only seen the movie once points to Aragorn on the cover of Return of the King, and says "Hey! That's the guy who tried to kill the Frodo!" and you are mortally offended.
You rename your horse Bill.
You can recite whole pages of text without referring to the book.
You feel strangely comforted while reading this list.
You have the regular size calendar at work, the poster size calendar at home, the key chains ...
Your friends quickly introduce new topics when conversation lapses to keep you from talking about LOTR
You believe you are being stalked by an orc when your cat just wants to play.
You tell your friends that if you should be hit by a bus before all three of these movies are out that you're going to have to haunt a theatre until Christmas 2003!
You find yourself skipping third period (or sneaking out of work) to eat elevensies.
Even if your not American you find yourself rooting for Todd Eldrige just because he skated to Lord of the Rings
You start referring to people you like as mellon
You actually talk about Tolkien in a job interview for the government. (Go me!)
You swear that you heard Black Riders outside your house so you go outside with a torch and find out it was only the night patrol.
When you're hiking on nature trails, you find yourself hiding behind (or in) trees every time you hear foot steps.
You swear that you saw orc eyes in the last cave you visited.
You wonder why Elvish is not included in the world languages part of your course calendar.
People stop asking you what you did last weekend because it always starts.. "Well, I saw LOTR..."
You start seeing LOTR phrases in daily life: boarding pass = you shall not pass, electrical = elvish
It's getting hard to have conversations in which you use your own words rather than just quoting LOTR.
Since you don't want popcorn you ask the movie theatre staff if you can just buy the LOTR plastic popcorn bucket by itself.
In anticipation of the coming movies, you then put said LOTR popcorn bucket on your head and proclaim aloud, "I am Eowyn, and I don my helm of Rohan".
You take a ring off a LOTR bookmark, find a gold chain, and proceed to wear it around your neck.

...and from Tookish: You write a fanfic listing well over 100 reasons that You Know You�re an LotR Fanatic!!

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