10. I don’t like you, Samwise Gamgee. In fact, I don’t think I ever did.
9. I’ll trade this hobbit hole for Lobelia’s silver spoons.
8. Sorry, Galadriel. I already took a bath in there (your mirror).
7. Gollum’s the only friend I’ll ever know.
6. Bilbo’s an old loon. Pity Smaug did not roast him to ashes!
5. Sauron, can I have your autograph?
4. Destroy the ring? Can’t I just wear it?
3. There’s no place like Mordor… There’s no place like Mordor…
2. Arwen, will you marry me? We could have really cute hobbit-kids, you know.
1. Sorry but I don’t like dolphins.