10. How to turn your Man into an Orc in bed: The two-second touch that will drive him wild!

9. Beauty secrets of the Numenorean Queens

8. Is she or isn't she a she? Solving the Dwarvish dating dilemma

7. "I fell for her curly-haired toes!" -- Favorite Hobbit guy turn-ons

6. Elf-Human relationships: What Luthien, Idril, Mithrellas, and Arwen never told you

5. Take our Cosmo Quiz: Which First Age hero would you most like to sleep with, and why?

4. Hot new armor styles for Spring

3. Galadriel: Power, brains, and beauty (A Cosmo Celebrity Interview)

2. Entwife makeovers: Getting the most out of your apple cheeks

…and the number one headline in the Middle-earth edition of Cosmo is:

1. The Mithril Bra: It isn't just for Elf maidens anymore