9. "What are the little fuzzy guys called again?"

8. "Hey, HERE'S Viggo's Prozac!"

7. "I can't remember, was there a giant mechanical tarantula in the book?"

6. "It's too bad we didn't get to film the Ford scene because of those damn floods."

5. "Tell those old ladies knitting the armour that we're upping the dosage."

4. "I don't care what it costs, I don't want fake props. It's mithril or nothing."

3. "Well, I think pink is a very scary colour for a Balrog."

2. "Now remember, Orcs--big smiles!"

And the #1 disturbing thing overheard on the set of LOTR:

1. "Has this lens cap been on the whole time?"