9. Jokingly told Celebrimbor to add 40% zinc to his rings, thus ruining the first batch

8. "Watered the White Tree," if you know what I mean

7. Made endless, tiresome jokes about "the Crack of Doom"

6. Wrote "ARAGORN LOVES MRS. FROBISHER" in every copy of "Return of the King" in the school library

5. Made up own, saucier lyrics for Music of the Ainur

4. Started nasty rumours about Sam and Frodo's sexual orientation that far outlasted his downfall

3. Kept making farting noises during the Doom of Mandos

2. Produced animated "LOTR" movie in the 70's

And the number one naughty thing Sauron did that we never heard about:

1. Gave Isildur the Finger