MOON LETTERS : TOOKISH TICKLERS
Top Ten Signs that LOTR Merchandising Has Gone Too Far - Frodo Baggins
10. Lord of the Rings cookies. I mean, HONESTLY, who wants to EAT Frodo?!
9. You go to the grocery store to pick up some milk. While you are there, you spot a packaged product labeled "lembas" on the shelf. Upon returning the next week, you also see "lite", "super lite", "baked" and "ultra-low-fat-tofu" lembas.
8. Fellowship-themed toothbrushes. Make your teeth look Gandalf-white!
7. Lord of the Rings- themed Q-tips. Cleaning out earwax has never been such an adventure!
6. Lord of the Rings-themed dental floss.
5. A local festival advertises "Free Angerthas decoder-pens for the kiddies!"
4. You find little marshmallow fellowship-members in your Foot Loops.
3. Rogaine sales suddenly skyrocket when they advertise "Have feet like Frodo in just 3 days" on their packaging.
2.You are doing the laundry, and you forget to take your plastic replica of the One Ring that you got free with a box of cheerios out of the pocket of your Saruman T-shirt, and you have to stop the machine and fish around for it, and the water washes off your temporary LOTR tattoo, which you got free with your purchase of a stick of LOTR bubble gum, that you bought at the local convenience store, to go with your miruvor flavored Slurpee, that you got for half price with the coupon you got in your box of cheerios along with the One Ring.
And the # 1 sign that LOTR merchandising has gone too far is:
1. Lord of the Rings themed toilet paper, with full colour pictures of the characters on each sheet. Flowers? PAH!!