10. You think you are being followed by the ghosts of dead Mounties.
9. You now have a bad case of arachnophobia.
8. The cruise you are going on is only a one-way trip.
7. You find yourself in the middle of a conversation with a large Chia Pet, who hates hastiness.
6. The elves (who seem much taller than you imagined) cannot tell you what you will be getting for Christmas because they claim they do not know any Santa Claus.
5. There is a ban on spelunking due to recent deaths.
4. When you give someone a friendly "Good morning", they interrogate you about its real meaning.
3. You realize that money does not grow on trees... But mallorn leaves do!
2. When you ask if anyone has heard of The Lord of the Rings, they shudder and run away.

And the number one reason that you know you are in Middle-earth:
You are approached by hole dwelling children who claim they are older
than you are.