10. Orlando Bloom's been replaced by Leo DiCaprio
9. Special adults-only feature "Furry Footed Hobbit Babes in Heat"
8. Anakin Baggins
7. Cate Blanchett's been replaced by Stevie Nicks
6. No matter how hard he tried in life, he never lived up to Kellanar's expectations.
5. PJ's decision to include a special 'Ewok Dance' at the conclusion of the Scouring of the Shire
4. McDonald's tie-in 'Bill the Pony Happy Meal' too scary to contemplate
3. Last dying wish was for any film version to emphasize the 'cuddly' nature of the characters
2. Jar-Jar yes-yes

And the number one reason JRRT is Rolling in His Grave....
Still can't seem to settle Balrog/wings issue.