Sung to the tune of Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" by The Dark Lord on his return to Mordor after his long exile - with hindsight , he was probably being a little presumptuous…

Don't think I was afraid, I wasn't petrified
Although I had no place to run when Elves and Men allied,
And when Isildur took the One, I knew my troubles had begun,
I could have cried – but they all thought that I had died,

And now I'm back
In Barad-Dur,
They thought that I was gone forever,
It shows just how wrong they were!
They should have smashed those strong foundations,
Should have razed them to the ground,
Should have known that if they didn't,
One day I'd be back around,

I have my trolls !
I have my Orcs !
And when they see that bloody Balrog,
Well, their eyes'll be on stalks !
I'll have my vengeance, I will conquer all the land,
They'll see my power - when I stretch out my dark hand,

And I will rule ! Yes , I will rule !
And anyone who thinks that they can stop me is a fool,
They'll see that I will rule the world
When my dark standard is unfurled,
Then I will rule, yes I will rule…

(instrumental)

Once I have my ring again, my power will be complete,
And then they'll all feel my revenge, and it will be so sweet !
I used to glower in the darkness, plotting horrors I would bring,
My day will come - if I can only find my Ring !

I'll send my wraiths
Into the Shire
And they'll find Baggins, and that golden ring they will acquire !
So when the Darkness falls again,
And shadows cover everything,
My foes will all look to the East and they will know I've got my Ring,

And I will rule ! Yes I will rule !
For every king and every ruler will be nothing but my tool !
Let my enemies all fight,
They cannot withstand my might,
For I will rule,
Yes I will rule…