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Shirrifs, Episodes 1 & 2 - Robin Smallburrow

Episode 1

"Bad boys, bad boys
whatcha gonna do
whatcha gonna do when they come for you?
Bad boys, bad boys..."

Night near Buckland. Camera following two Sherrifs-
"I'm Sherrif Smallburrow and this is my partner, Danny Whitfoot and we're her to protect and to serve this Shire.You see a lot of things when you're a Sherrif here. Danny can back me upon this-we've seen em all."

Horns blast in the distance-faintly "Fear, Fire, Foes!"

"That's us" Two Sherrifs start running down the road.

Cut to roadblock where three other Sherrifs have boxed in a rider on a black horse. The rider is also in black and is hooded. Robin and Danny come up to the first Sherrif.

Robin to camera: "Looks like some of our other officers have caught someone in a no galloping zone, this is Sam, Maury and Ellis-the Proudfoot boys."

Sam: "That's Proudfeet! We caught this guy riding hell for leather down a school lane. I don't think he's from around here."
Danny: "Another one of them "queer" folk?
Sam: "Uh-huh."
Robin to Rider: "Sir please step off the horse."
Rider: Hisssssss, hisssssss.
Robin: "The sign was well posted; you cant have missed the no galloping sign."
Rider: Hissssssss, hisssssss, hissssssss.
Robin: "Uh-huh, your cousins sick huh."
Rider: Hissssss, hisssss, hissssss.
Robin: "You were going over to his house to bring medicine?"
Rider: Hissssssss, hisssssss, hisssssss, bagginssssss, hissssss.
Robin: "Your cousins name is Baggins, but you got lost and don't know where he lives? Sir, may I see your license and registration?"
Robin walks over to Danny and Sam while the other two Sherrifs watch the Rider.
Robin: "Danny check out this guys license and registration. Sam can you make this stuff out? He says it's medicine for his cousin."
Sam dips little finger in bag and tastes.
Sam: "It's Westmansweed Robin! This guy is hot!" LOOK OUT!!

Rider jumps on his horse and runs away. Two Sherrifs follow blowing horns. Answering horns in the distance.

Robin to camera: "He won't get far. We've got a sub station at the Brandywine bridge crossing"
Danny: "Look at this Robin. This guy's license is obviously a fake. Mr. W. King of Angmar. We traced his horse to dealership in Mordor."
Robin: "Good work Danny. We'll teach those drug runners not to try and pass their stuff here. Whether its called Athelas or Westmansweed or Kingsfoil, they all mean the same thing. More burnt out young Hobbits dancing and singing in the moonlight."
Danny: "Those bastards."
Robin to camera: "That's what it means to wear the feather in your cap. To protect and to serve this Shire."
"Bad boys, bad boys
watcha gonna do…"

Episode 2

"Bad boys, bad boys
whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?
Bad boys, bad boys…"

(Exterior shot of two Shirrifs hiding in a bush.)

Deadman's Dike, Shire
11:42 P.M.
Officers Robin Smallburrow and Danny Whitfoot

Robin: "We've been keeping an eye on Deadman's Dike for a long time, now. It's always been a haven for lowlife scum, but tonight we were tipped off by an informant about a big smuggling operation. (Camera pans right then left, showing more Hobbits in the bushes) As you can see we've pretty much mobilized all of the Southfarthing P.D. and Shirrifs Department, along with a few other agencies."
Danny: "There they are."

(Camera pans to a River where a barge is loading cargo from a dock. Suddenly torches are lit.)

Voice: "Freeze! You're under arrest!"
(camera shaking a pursuit begins)
Another voice: "Gash! Nar shoka garn!"

Cut to scene on the docks-Danny is covering two perpetrators that are lying face down on the docks, hands tied behind their back. Other Shirrifs are pulling more people out of the boat and lining them up on the pier. A Hobbit with a blue windbreaker with the Runes BWB on his back comes up to Robin.

Robin: "This is special agent Martin Willowbrook of the Beer, Weed and Bows Agency. What's up Marty?"
Marty: "Looks like a big haul Robin, we found thirty-two barrels of Longbottom Leaf on the barge."
Danny whistles in amazement.
Marty: "That's not all. See those guys lined up on the pier? Illegal Half-Orcs, twenty of them. Looks like a weed and cheap labor exchange. We're gonna have to call Immigration down here too. A few more of the Half-Orcs swam across the River."
Robin: "Don't worry the "jert" will take care of them."
Danny to camera: "Joint Reinforcement and Reconnaisance Tactical Force-or JRRT for short. It's a joint operations with other outShire law enforcement groups which patrol a common border. Basically we Shirrifs watch this side of the Brandywine while the Dunadan Rangers watch the other."
Horn blow in the distance.
Danny: "Yeah I wouldn't worry about those Half-Orcs now."
Marty: "Those Rangers are a queer lot. Tough, but queer, although I heard they're good to have in a ruckus."
Robin: "Yeah, but there are so few of them. You know their motto: One ruckus, one Ranger."(Turning to other Shirrifs) "Okay saddle up-we'll take the perps to the Buckland Jail. Sam, take the Illegals over to Immigration in Bree. Good job people!"

Danny to camera: "Pretty exciting night for us feathered hats..."

"Bad boys, bad boys
whatcha gonna do?…"

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