MOON LETTERS : CREATIVE WRITING
The Mirkwood Prank Files - by Tenshiamanda
Me: Mirkwood, a peaceful, quiet and serene forest. Filled with many cute and furry animals who live in harmony together. Including the majestic spider.
*Scene switch to spiders tearing each other apart.*
You know Haldir once got bit by a spider. Oh ya! He was trying to carve his name on the spider with the end of an arrow.
But anyway, Mirkwood is home to the graceful and immortal elves, wisest of all beings.
*Scene switch to where five drunk elves are doing the can-can*.
They are ruled by King Thranduil, a wise and powerful warrior who is beloved and respected by all.
*Scene switch to elf shooting arrows at photo of said king*.
Now Thranduil has many children but our story concerns the youngest child Legolas and two friends from rivendell. All very cute.
And Legolas grows up to be very hot and sexy
Random elf: umm
excuse me that's my shoe you're drooling on.
Me: What? Opps! Anyway, this story takes placewhen they are all just 10 years old!
Ancient history really. *Thwap* owie! O.k anyway on with the story!
*scene turns to where an adult Legolas is being hugged/choked by the author*.
Me: Ain't that cute? Wrong film!
Legolas: do you really have to show this tape?
Me: yes sweetheart, now sit down and have a wollipop.
Legolas: oh! Ok! *eats wollipop*.
Thranduil: I can't believe you let her push you around like that! I would never let a woman tell me what to do!
Me: Thranduil sit down!
Thranduil: yes ma'am.
Me: right here's the tape, off we go!
Oh I'm going to enjoy this. The rest of the story will not be narrated, it will be in 3rd person. Please r&r!
Disclaimer: this time brought to you by " Haldir's society for annoying drwarves".
Damn I don't own anything so there!
Legolas was bored. Very bored. No-one knew the meaning of boredom like he did. If this went on for much longer he was going to explode.
"How can anybody stand being this bored?" he thought.
Sighing he began to kick his legs on the chair he was sitting on. That is, he did until his father turned round and gave him a dirty look. Why did he have to stay here just because the stupid lord of rivendell was coming to visit with his two sons? It wasn't fair!
His older brothers were away patrolling the borders and none of his sisters had to come. Why him?
Just then trumpets sounded announcing the arrival of lord Elrond. Legolas found himself yanked to his feet by his father.
"Now listen Legolas, Elrond is an old friend of mine so please behave around him. Also be nice to his sons as you'll be showing them around." The king said.
"WHAT! But daaad.." Legolas cried but didn't have the chance to say anything else as the lord entered the courtyard followed by his entourage.
Elrond rode a tall grey stallion while behind him rode two children on small bay ponies. Legolas guessed these were his sons, he leaned forward to assess them and found they were identical. Both had long black hair to their shoulders and grey stormy eyes. "I wonder if they know any good games
The twins of course, upon seeing him were also sizing him up. The young prince had shining gold hair and clear blue eyes. He gave them a cocky grin and they, seeing the mischief in those eyes grinned back.
As one they thought "this is going to be fun
So do you like? Next chapter introductions and the beginning of the terrorization of Mirkwood.
Legolas: we weren't that bad!
Thranduil: oh yes you were!
Elladan : we get blamed for everything.
Elrond: only because you deserve it.
" Good to see you again Elrond" said Thranduil, "I hope you enjoy your visit, this is my son Legolas!".
Legolas found himself being shoved forward and hastily mumbled a hello.
"Nice to meet you Legolas, these are my sons, Elladan and Elrohir." Elrond answered proudly.
"Hi!" the twins shouted.
As the two adults turned away to talk to each other the children were left alone. They stared at each other for a few minutes.
"Damn what should I do? Legolas thought.
At a loss for words and not liking how the twins were looking at him he did the only thing he could. He stuck his tongue out at them. The twins immediately responded pulling grotesque faces at him. He quickly stuck his hands in his ears and waggled his fingers. The twins exchanged glances with each other and waggled their eyebrows at him. This carried on for a few minutes until
" can't catch me!" Legolas yelled loudly and dashed away as fast as he could.
" Holy cow!" Elrond said as he was nearly knocked over by the pursuing twins.
" Hey come back here you little vagabond!" Thranduil hollered.
Legolas ignored his father only focusing his attention on escaping the adults and luring the twins away.
He reached a clearing in the woods and stopped suddenly. The twins unable to stop in time bowled him over and for a few minutes they struggled to untangle themselves. All were laughing madly.
"Soooo what do we do know?" Elrohir said in between giggles.
"Well I was wondering if you wanted to gather some acorns with me." Legolas said smirking.
"Acorns! Why would we want to do that?" the twins gaped at him.
"I'll tell you when we get them." Legolas snickered.
Sighing the twins followed Legolas up a tall oak tree and helped him pick the acorns and store them in a leather pouch Legolas had brought along. After finishing Legolas gesture for them to follow him. They walked along until they came to elves forest road, then they swiftly climbed a tree nearby.
"So what do we do?" Elladan demanded.
um your Elladan right?" Legolas said. The twin nodded at him.
"Well anyway take some of these acorns." He said sharing them out. "And now we wait".
"For what?" they asked.
"shhhhhhh". Legolas said.
Ten minutes later as the twins began to get bored a party of elves appeared riding towards them. Legolas grinned as they approached and reached for some acorns. The twins watched him wondering what was going on. Legolas waited until the part was level with them and threw the acorns as hard as he could at the leader.
" By Elbereth!" the elf cried.
The twins quickly caught on and soon the air was filled with flying acorns along the cries of the stricken elves.
" oh the humanity!"
"what the the hell is happening?".
Unable to withstand the furious attack any longer the elves kicked their horses and galloped away. So they weren't around when the trees erupted with the laughter of three elvish children.
"Oh did you see their faces?" Legolas gasped with tears streaming down his face.
yes!" the twins were bent over gasping for breathe.
The laughter carried on for a long time and it wasn't for the last time it would be heard.
Me; and so it began.
Thranduil: be quiet you little hooligan!
Elrond: you too!
Me: man, you two are really cranky. Anway tune in next time for more pranks in the forest.
Five minutes after the laughter began it stopped. The three children sat down together to talk.
" Wow that was great! We thought it would be boring here." Elrohir said.
"Hey I thought you two would be goody two shoes!" said Legolas.
"Oh well you live and learn." Elladan smirked.
"Soooo..what now?" Legolas asked.
The forest was quiet as the three sat down to think.
The attacked party of elves arrived safely at the palace, looking a bit dishevelled of course.
"What the heck was that do you think?" one said.
" I don't know but I hope I never meet it again." His friend answered.
"Meet what again?" came Thranduil's voice.
Hastily the Elvish party bowed.
"We were attacked in the woods highness." The leader said.
"By what?" Elrond asked.
"Well I um
" he fumbled for words,finally admitting."Acorns."
"Acorns?" Thranduil said. " Oh no."
"Whats wrong?" Elrond asked.
"I believe I know where those children of ours are. Now." He said turning to the leader. "Where exactly did this attack take place?"
Soon after Thranduil and Elrond were riding down to where the "attack" took place.
The three 10year olds whirled round at the sound of hooves. Glancing at each other they grabbed a handful of acorns each and prepared to fire. As the riders rounded the corner the acorns were thrown as hard as possible.
"Ouch!" Thranduil cried. Elrond glared seething as they both turned to look at the unfortunate boys.
A co-operative " Oh crap!" was heard from three mouths as the children looked horrified at their fathers.
"Why you little
"Run for it!" Legolas yelled.
The twins followed him through the forest as the adults dismounted and followed them by foot. The chase was long and furious and then'took a surprising turn.
The two fathers saw their offspring round a corner and stopped as they heard three mutual cries of fear. Dumbfounded the two looked at each shrugging their shoulders.
Then turned around as the three came tearing round the corner.
" Heeeeey dad!" they cried and were gone.
"What was that about?" said Thranduil.
They quickly turned back to the corner to see a bunch of giant spiders come tearing at them!
"Ruuuun!" yelled Thranduil as they dashed back.
" I would never have thought of that!" Elrond replied sarcastically.
One hour later an exhausted king and lord arrived back to the palace gardens. Only to see their three little devils sitting on a bench eating apples.
" Hi dad where you bin?" Legolas asked smugly.
" Where have we been? Where. Have. We. Been? I
ll show you where we
ve been you little
." The two yelled.
Each child found themselves been strangled by their fathers.
" so..so'sorry daaaad!" Elrohir gasped out.
Legolas: My neck still hurts.
Twins: So do ours!
Thranduil: And you think being chased through the forest by spiders is better?
Elrond: I don't know what you think you were doing.
Legolas: We were thinking
yeah this is fun! And then we thought oh no! and that switched to
Me: Legolas I think he was being sarcastic.
Me: Yes. So anyway keep reading folks and don't forget to review!
Legolas was in torture. Locked in his room for the day for the acorn incident. He wondered how the twins were faring. If they got away with this he would kill them.
Meanwhile the twins were equally (if not more so) as bored as Legolas was. Not only were they looked in their room but they had to write out lines. Lines! It was to much for just a few acorns, and dad needed some exercise anyway so it was a good thing those spiders came along.
"Do you think we could climb to Legolas
room by the outside wall?"
"Dunno but lets try it anyway! If we die its dad's fault!"
So the bold, intrepid and slightly mad twins climbed off the window and began to climb up the ivy covered walls outside the cavern palace. After a few wrong turns and slips they found the right room, mostly by the sound of cussing coming from it.
"Legolaasss!" Elrohir called.
"Yoohoo!" Elladan cried.
Legolas jumped about 4ft in the air.
how did you guys get here?" he asked curiously.
"Up the walls."
Legolas came to the window and looked down. He then neatly clambered out and began to go in the direction of the kitchen gardens. The twins who had no clue where they were going followed him. Reaching the ground Legolas dashed behind a bush followed by the twins.
re we doing Legolas?" Elladan asked.
"We are taking revenge for wrongful imprisonment." Legolas said grinning like a madman.
"How are we gonna do that?" Elrohir was almost bouncing in excitement.
re having a banquet and there is going to be soup which is being made here at this very moment." Legolas announced a comical serious expression on his face which was making the twins burst into fits of laughter.
"Well, if you'll follow me gentlemen you shall see." He then worked off like a butler showing guests around.
In the kitchen they saw a huge bubbling pot of soup. Legolas led them to a pile of chillies. The twins faces suddenly lit up with evil grins as they guessed Legolas
plan. Each grabbed a bunch of chillies and threw them in the pot before running out the kitchen and hiding back behind the bush.
"What now?" asked Elladan .
"I suppose we had better go back to our rooms so our dads don't know we
ve gone." Legolas replied grimly.
There was a great deal of moaning about this but all knew it was for the best. So when both fathers looked in on their children they found them miserable and bored. This pleased both adults greatly.
*At the banquet that evening.*
All three children were dressed in their best robes sitting beside their fathers. The hall was full of cheerful voices and sweet music and the three were very, very bored. That is, until the soup was being served.
Then they faced the greatest challenge of their lives. To not burst out laughing. Legolas dealt with it by flicking peas at his older siblings while the twins bit their lips and stared at the floor. When the soup was handed out to everyone, all they could do was wait.
It wasn't long before their patience was rewarded.
" Ouch! My tongue!"
"Water! My horse for some water!"
But funniest of all for the children was watching their fathers. Being great and powerful elvin lords they didn't cry out but watching them was so funny. They were both breathing hoarsely, gasping as their throats burned. Legolas, Elrohir and Elladan of course hadn't touched the stuff. And now were hard pressed to keep their faces innocent. That of course didn't last long.
" Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!" the three were roaring with laughter and they exchanged glances with each other. This was worth any punishment their dads could think up.
Me: Clever little elves.
Elrond and Thranduil: *death glare*
Legolas: You brought it upon yourselves.
Elladan : *Looks at fathers* I think I feel another strangling session coming on.