Denial is a great place to be
Until she decides she doesn’t want your company anymore
Thrown out-then what?
To reality’s bed of needles-the weeping and gnashing of teeth
Your own little personal Hell on Earth.

You pray for dreams but get nightmares
Nursemaid running away from Wormtongue
But hasn’t he become the one in your care?
Open your heart but Aragorn isn’t listening
You cry out for a Faramir but he’s nowhere to be found
And you soul sinks even deeper.

So you take upon the role
Play the Shieldmaiden, slaughtering many while begging
For Nazgul’s black breath to come upon you.
To die a hero’s death to make up for all the lost time-
The failures that represent your life
The ones the King never thanked you for
That sucked up your youth, broke your spirit
And left you slave to the Black Dog
In the shell of a girl who smiles to hide the pain.

Give up the nightmare Shieldmaiden
Let the storybooks kill the heroine
Don’t get sucked into suicidal victim
The pain doesn’t last forever although it feels like an eternal sentence
That life, God or the universe threw on you hard.

But there is an opening no matter how small
The orifice called hope.
It’s very powerful despite its size
And grows to mass proportions.
Take it White Lady for Gondor lies yonder
Your Rohan is safe.
You will prevail despite the troubles.
Your travels are ahead.
It’s only a matter of time…

 
Written on November 1, 2002
© 2003